Song Lyrics

 

Lyrics below for ALL songs  on my 20-song “Worcester Potholes” CD.
Buy CD on my SHOP page, and sing along!
ALL Lyrics by Nathaniel Needle © 2004-2013

“Worcester Potholes” (2005) Notes: At the same time that Worcester created a special “pothole hotline” to speed up repairs, there were news reports of crowds massing around a dirty laundromat window in Natick, MA. Why? The grime in the window formed a likeness of the Virgin Mary. That gave me an idea… 
CHORUS:Worcester potholes are a miracle from heaven
Sent down by the angels from above
Like silent meteorites, they strike the streets at night
But they never hit our homes or the ones we love
I went out my door to worship at a pothole
A familiar form revealed itself to me
As I watched that pothole’s shape, my mouth began to gape
There shone the peaceful face of Our Lady (CHORUS)
So I built a shrine for pilgrims by that pothole
And millions came to see from far and near
I gave every cent I made selling souvenirs to Worcester
Those Summer Nationals are gon’ be air-conditioned next year (CHORUS)
Now in Worcester the believers are increasing
But some folks still don’t get it, and they’re sore
My neighbor called the city to fix a pothole
They said, “Ma’am, we don’t mess with miracles no more.” (CHORUS)
CODA: But they never hit our homes, our cars, our pest, or the ones we love,
Worcester Potholes!
“Hurry, Hurry, Vote for Murray” (2006) Notes: I wrote this when Tim Murray, at that time Worcester’s Mayor, began his 1st successful campaign in 2006 for Lt. Governor of Massachusetts. He was re-elected to a second term in 2010, when the song was brought out again to rally the faithful.
CHORUS: Hurry, hurry, vote for Murray; Murray, he’s our man
Hurry, hurry, vote for Murray, if he can’t do it, no one can
Tim’s close to the people, he’s never remote
So let’s get out and vote, vote, vote!
Hurry, hurry, vote for Murray; Murray, he’s our man!
[Repeat Chorus, with changes to lines 4 & 5 as follows:]

…2001 was the first time I did it
I kinda got to like it, and now I can’t quit it
…Instead of whining, what’s the use, it’s
Time to act for Massachusetts
…Tim’s a Democrat, but he’s no crony
He fights malfeasance and baloney
…Central Mass depends on Tim
Why, even BOSTON listens to him!
…No more tangles, no more tears,
What we want is 4 more years!
CODA
I’m sayin’, he can’t do it, no one can, one more time
Murray, Murray, Murray, he’s our man!
Murray, he’s our man! Ooh!

“Put Down Your Dukes, Konnie Lukes” (2007) Notes: When Tim Murray left mid-term to be our Lt. Gov., our vice-mayor, Konnie Lukes, became mayor. She has a reputation for following her own conscience, often casting the lone “no” on City Council votes. Many media pundits worried, unnecessarily, I thought, about whether she’d shift her style to fit her new role. I meant the song to make fun of all the media hoopla, & everyone took it as good fun. This was the first song I sang at a new Mayor’s first public Council meeting, a tradition I have been graciously permitted to continue since. Locate YouTube video! Thanks Worcester!

I think it’s peachy-keen that Konstantina B. Lukes
Gonna occupy the mayor’s chair
Since Murray had to hurry, hurry off to climb that Statehouse stair
Konnie’s promised a political takeover
That’ll keep us a Creative City
But when she ruled out any personal makeover
Well, I thought I’d better write this ditty,
Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
You gonna catch more flies with honey than with nukes
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
Won’t you be more clubby, more shoulder-rubby
A kind of Konnie-sensus-builder?
I’m so unsure, so insecure ‘round brash blond battle-maidens like Brunhilde
Won’t you see what the boys in the back room will have
And go along to get along?
Just a few more chuckles, without the brass knuckles
Will have’ em all singin’ your song! (so I’m beggin’)
Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
Why let them mention your ascension as one o’ them flukes? [original lyric not on the CD]
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
Now poor Paul Clancy, he’s gettin’ sorta antsy
And Phil Palmieri thinks you’re scary
Jumpy Joe Petty is already unsteady
As for Mike Perrotto, every night he gets blotto
Even sunny Katie Toomey, is lookin’ slightly gloomy,
And Smilin’ Irish Dennis, seems haunted by a menace
Mighty Mike O’Brien, he’s in his office cryin’
And young Joff Smith thinks you the Lord of the Sith
Even good ol’ Barbara, who would never ever harbor a
Grudge or budge from your side,
Says to deliver the goods to our neighborhoods
You oughta try some tricks you haven’t tried, so why don’t you
Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
When Rick Rushton wakes up in the middle of the night, he pukes
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
Just lean back in your mayoral chair and thoughtfully close your eyes
Purse your lips, fold your fingertips, and act benevolent and wise
You know it’s time to lean on someone else to be mean
Enough to lead that fiscal fight
If Gary Rosen, is the one you’ve chosen, you just have to teach him how to bite
He can do it, so…
Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
If Dave Rushford muffs your name, don’t shame him with rebukes
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes,
Take advice from bald guys playin’ ukes,
And please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes!
“Make it so, Joe!” (2010) Notes: Joe O’Brien won his mayoral campaign by turning out larger numbers of lower-income voters who believed he would make a difference. Joe did express a populist vision as Mayor, but Worcester Mayors don’t have very much power, so the huge expectations placed on him seemed worth poking fun at. Joe used what clout he had in ways that sure drove the conservatives crazy, like leading the Council to a vote condemning Arizona’s immigration laws! The City Manager, who holds the real power, was also named O’Brien, explaining at least one line in this “insider” song.
CHORUS: Make it so, Joe; Joe, make it so!
We little people don’t want to hear “no”
Put art in the schools, and kids in the pools
Rich policemen could donate their dough
We all voted for you without fail
Cause you promised us the Holy Grail
Now you’re the politician-in-chief
We’ll expect from you big tax relief (CHORUS)
We’ll expect State assistance to rise
Federal funding to fall from the skies
We all know you pray daily to Him
And by “Him” we mean Jim or else Tim
We know you’ll clear out the bums from the PIP
So that their poor Main South neighbors don’t flip
But you’ll give those inebriates pride
In their new group homes on the West Side (CHORUS)
We’ll expect all malfeasance you’ll mop up
We’ll expect all the potholes to pop up
We’ll expect all the parks to get fixed up
Cause often we’ll get our O’Brien’s mixed up
Now if you really want folks to applaud
Why don’t you start by reviving the Aud?
And since diversity’s our future path – do the math –
How ‘bout a giant, free, public, Roman-Turkish-Japanese bath?
Can’t you see it? We could all go up & down those stairs just wearing towels!
No? (CHORUS)
We really hope that this job keeps you glad
And isn’t merely a career launching pad
But if you dump us for some mid-term race
At least we’ll know who’ll be taking your place!
Make it so, Joe; Joe, make it so, we little people don’t want to hear “no”
Put art in the schools, and kids in the pools
Import insects that make the trees grow
Pay the bills every time you pass “Go”
Make the skies always sunny, and the milk and honey,
And other people’s money to flow
Make it so, Joe; Joe, make it so! Make it so!
“Ready for Petty” (2012) Notes: As of this writing, this was the most recent song I sang for a new Mayor’s 1st public Council meeting. The new mayor was also named Joe, but their personalities couldn’t be more different. Where Joe O. is flashy, Joe P. is far more low-key. That was enough to write a song about.
When Konnie was our Mayor, she was strictly ceremonial
She never got us tangled up in matters Arizonial
Then in flew Joe O’Brien, occupying Worcester at a stroke
He roared out like a lion, and made Bob Nemeth choke
But O’Brien wouldn’t run again, so voters had some fun again
Electing someone new.
And I like who he is so much, the qualities that are his so much,
That I don’t care much what he’ll do…
I’m really ready for steady Joe Petty
Though his election didn’t make me throw confetti
I like his mellow style, I love his modest smile
And when I hang around him, I relax after a while
Only a nut would think he’s but a link in some political machine
Cause Worcester won’t even vote to drink water influenced by fluorine
So I’m really ready for steady Joe Petty
And from now on I won’t confuse him with Bill Eddy
I love the way he balks, at giving lengthy talks
And I doubt he’d wake me up to take those lengthy neighborhood walks
So good luck to steady old Petty, I’d just like him to know
That the reason I’m so ready for Petty, is he’s much more of an ordinary Joe!
“Collective a Go-Go” (2010) Notes: This home to some dear friends of mine is shrouded in rumor and mystery, so I’ll let the song speak for itself.  See what you can gather from their Facebook page.
Everything you heard is absolutely true about the Go-Go
Everything you heard is absolutely true about the Go-Go
Everything you heard is what they really do down at the Go-Go
Everything you heard is what they really do down at the Go-Go
CHORUS: They don’t like puttin’ anything down the drain
They take all their showers in the natural rain
Or roll in the snow, but they don’t complain at the Go-Go
They all compromise with each other’s wishes at the Go-Go
They all get a turn not to do the dishes at the Go-Go
They all sleep together on a big dirty plate at the Go-Go
They breakfast on the smudges what nobody ate at the Go-Go
(CHORUS)
They compost to the left and they compost to the right at the Go-Go
They compost every little thing in sight at the Go-Go
They got a bathroom in the house but there ain’t no light at the Go-Go
‘Cause they compost whatever comes out in the night at the Go-Go
(CHORUS)
They stayed up all night just to reach consensus at the Go-Go
To drink from any surface on which water condenses at the Go-Go
The women help the men to get over their defenses at the Go-Go
The men sleep in the woods when the women get their menses at the Go-Go
(CHORUS)
They leave their clothes at the door so they don’t mess up the rug at the Go-Go
Then they all greet each other with a big bear hug at the Go-Go
You might think that love is what it’s all about at the Go-Go
But they talk so much that they too worn out at the Go-Go
(CHORUS)
CODA: Everyone is at one with the Great Life Chain at the Go-Go!
“Rhymin’ in Worcester” (2006) Notes: When this was written, friend & fellow musician Chet Williamson was Arts Editor of Worcester Magazine. He wrote an article entitled “Nothing Rhymes With Worcester.” I don’t even recall what it was about, but I think he may have “critiqued” our Arts scene. Of course, when anyone says a bad thing about Worcester, it keeps the secret that it’s terrific place. The “cool” people then don’t flock to live here; that way the rest of us can afford to = cool! So the song is meant to satirize the professional cheerleaders of this 2nd-largest city in New England (yeah, you read that right) who seem desperate to get us “on the map.”
In Worcester, we got Worcester Magazine, it ain’t no rag, it’s seen
Gracin’ every place in town
But it seems they got a certain editor, got nothin’ better ta
Do than run the old town down
This guy dresses real sharp, plays a mean blues harp
And can rip out a rockin’ review
But when he wrote that nothing rhymes with Worcester
Well, I knew just what I had to do
Now I’ve heard blues men say that the jazz scene today,
Doesn’t swing quite the way it yoosta
But no musician oughta take the position, that nothin’ rhymes with Woosta
Now to get in the groove of a city on the move, everybody’s gotta be a boosta
It don’t help the cause to lay down no laws, that nothin’ rhymes with Woosta
Now from City Hall to the Greendale Mall
Folks are polishin’ up Woosta’s rep
People wanna believe, ‘n get the world to perceive
That where Woosta homeys hang is hep
So I asked everyone from a Vietnamese nun to a Russian ballabusta
They all prickled with pride and hotly denied that nothin’ rhymes with Woosta
Now when Adolf annexed Austria, they all called him a Nazi Anschlussta
But even that bad guy, exposed the lie, that nothin’ rhymes with Woosta
There’s more chance of a moose or an Elm park goose
Beddin’ down in a coop with a roosta
Than of fans like me, standin’ up to agree, that nothin’ rhymes with Woosta
Now from Vernon Hill to the Gold Star Goodwill
I hear fear ‘bout our lyrical status
Since we keep gettin’ lost in the streets of Boston
Rumor’s been roun’ that Beantown might out-rate us
So all you Worcester poets: Jump up and show it’s
Time to rhyme and you might wanna choosta
Sign a book deal with Simon n’ Schusta, make it all about rhymin’ in Woosta
So come on Chet, you gotta hedge that bet, take a tip from a brother bloosta
That somethin’, surely somethin’ rhymes with Woosta!
“Highland Street Shuffle” (2009) Notes: From 2004-2009 my (former) wife & I ran a weaving studio at 131 Highland. It was on this small stretch of shops and restaurants, a mix of arty and ethnic in a diverse section of town wedged between 2 colleges. The businesses on the street pooled energies to create some promotional events, complete with theme song (find the video on YouTube!)
CHORUS:Highland Street, Highland Street
It’s the place to shop, it’s the place to eat*
See your doctor, see your dentist, get your laundry done
Bring a little bit of money, have a lot of fun
Friendly people from around the world to meet
It’s your land, my land, Highland Street!
[*Alternate 2nd lines = just zip them in]:
…Sit down and get some nail polish on your feet…
…Where everybody’s boppin’ to that Worcester beat…
…Get your Mediterranean or Brazilian treat…
…Get your custom framing and your fresh-baked sweet…
Eat what you please, hand-made Tortilla’s
Take out Chinese, wine-flavored cheese
Seafood delicacies, Greek BLT’s (CHORUS)
Do what you choose, dig some swingin’ blues
Here’s some vintage shoes, get some wild tattoos
We got both kinds of brews: great coffee, great booze (CHORUS)
Burgers right off the grill, Art right off the sill
Some crunchy croutons, some soft futons
Manicure for your hands, green garbage cans (CHORUS)
CODA: Go do your thing, get up and sing
Feel free to shop, until you drop
Friendly people from around the world to meet
It’s your land, my land, Highland Street!
It’s the place to shop! It’s the place to eat!
It’s your land! It’s my land! It’s High—Land—Street! Yeah!
“Dark World” (2010) Notes: Dark World, a tattoo parlor & art gallery, hosted many provocative & beautiful art openings over time. I performed this at one of them.
Now it has been some time, since the lights went out in town
Bars are all closed; and the Park is shut down
Can’t say how long it’ll be before there is any light
& you look like you could use a friendly place to spend the night
CHORUS: ‘Cause It’s a Dark World, It’s a Dark World,
It’s a Dark World, Baby,
Ain’t no point in tryin’ to make it through alone
Been in this dark world all my life, kinda know my way around
I can feel that dark air, ‘n I can smell that dark ground
Now I can tell you’re new to the dark, by the way you squint your eyes to see
But you just hold my hand tight, baby, you be safe tonight with me (CHORUS)
Now you seem a little bit nervous, in the dark and in the black
You keep askin’ when the light, just might be comin’ back
I know you scared now baby, I can almost taste your fear
But you just stick with me awhile, you gon’ get used to the idea (CHORUS 2x)
“Rock a By-line Baby” (2008) Notes: This may be the most famous lullaby of all time not written by Brahms. It’s also a very creepy image, but no one stops to think about how the local (national?) media would respond if it came true. I did.
Everybody run home and turn on your TV
Some wacko put her baby in the top of a tree
Is the bough gonna break? Is the baby gonna fall?
Vote now! Operators standin’ by for your call!
They got the National Guard and the Worcester Police
Surroundin’ the ground with a blanket of fleece
They sent Homeland Security in case there’s a bomb
Check out real-time footage on Newsweek.com
This just in from our news-copter view from the air
It looks like that baby’s just sleepin’ up there
The wind’s kickin’ up jus’ like Hur’cane Katrine
Watch the hair of our newswoman right on the scene
The Fire Department has arrived on the run
It seems like somebody just dialed 9-1-1
To bring you this awful catastrophe live
We interrupt our jazz show on 90.5
Join us now with the mama who’s tellin’ us why
Voices told her to lift up her baby so high
Stay tuned as mom’s parents describe what they did
To raise up a freak who’d do that to her kid
We gon’ interview scientists at ten o’clock
To analyze just how that cradle might rock
Some big doctor gon’ tell how our society
Make a woman put her baby up a goddamn tree
Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all…
…And we still standin’ by for your call!

“Way Through Worcester”(2007) Notes: Road signage in Worcester is so haphazard as to be wacky. Some innovative City officials began a project to unify (and even color-code!) signage and divide Worcester into different “districts”, but it did not bear fruit. The one sign you will see clearly and often everywhere indicates how to get to Worcester Airport, which, being flightless, is the one place nobody goes. I meant this as a civic booster song for the project; that’s why there is no verse making fun of that. 

CHORUS: Gonna find my way, my way through Worcester
Through Worcester streets I’m bound to pass
From the DCU, to Great Brook Valley
Gonna find my way, through Worcester, Mass.
From Salisbury Street to the Elm Park District
From Nine Way East to Nine Way West
From Kelley Square, to God-knows-where
All ways through Worcester are the best (CHORUS)
I left that Blackstone Visitors Center
To find that Ee-co-ta-ri-um
I was afraid, I’d lose my way
But the way was easy, as they come (CHORUS)
Never doubt that you can do it
I assure you, you’ll be fine
All you gotta do is look for guidance
And Behold, there will be a Sign (CHORUS)
And I shall walk, if I can’t afford gas
Gonna find my way…
Through Worcester…M…A…oh-one-six-oh-eight!
“Goose Poop Park” (2006) Notes: Elm Park gathers people of all ages who hark from virtually every nation in the world. For many, it’s customary to feed the birds. But Elm Park’s Canada geese, bred here in Massachusetts centuries ago, are large, and people didn’t think that what goes in must come out. Using a border collie to annoy them did reduce the problem somewhat, but at the time, this vision of the future did not seem so far-fetched.
Until I lost my job in Worcester, my family never knew what pain meant
But after that, we couldn’t sleep, and we desperately needed cheap
Wholesome family entertainment
So on Sunday we’d go strolling out to beautiful Elm Park
Just to throw a bunch of crumbs out to the geese
Many families did the same, and it only seemed a shame
That the whole world couldn’t join us in our joy and our release
The howls, coming from our boys, were happy;
The fowls, judging from their noise, were happy
If the birds dropped turds, no one wasted any words
On observing that each surface of the turf was turning crappy
The city put big signs up, and jacked fifty-dollar fines up
But we families fed those goosies anyhow
Now we’re here in the year 2008 my dear,
And you should see the old place now!
Every foot, where our ancestors put vegetation,
Is now slathered with avian defecation
To see where the flock has left its mark,
Step on down to Goose Poop Park!
Stay on the shoveled routes, in your rubber boots
The Parks Department recommends hazmat suits
It stinks even worse than Noah’s Ark,
But just waltz on down to Goose Poop Park!
Remember Mike Nishan, the hot dog man,
Who parked his hot dog van on Russell St.?
Now the van is gone, ‘cause that poopy lawn,
Is an unappetizing place to eat!
The water’s black, the fish are dead,
The flowers smell like moldy Wonder Bread,
Strange things happen after dark,
But spend the day in Goose Poop Park!
How we used to play around on that plastic playground,
Of which the children used to be so fond
But those squishy slippery skids, have repelled the kids;
Now it’s the galaxy’s ugliest sliding pond!
The water’s black, the fish are dead,
The flowers smell like moldy Wonder Bread,
If your aesthetic sense is rather stark,
You’re going to love it at Goose Poop Park!
The city bought a dog to persuade ‘em, up to Canada to roam
But there isn’t any way to migrate ‘em,
‘Cause if she gets good bagels, that’s where a goose calls home!
The water’s black, the fish are dead,
The flowers smell like moldy Wonder Bread,
To hear that border collie’s plaintive bark,
Just roll on down to Goose Poop Park!
Now the geese have grown possessive, and ferociously aggressive
On their diet of Ding Dongs and Twinkies
The twins next door, can’t play piano any more,
Since the beak they fed bit off their pinkies
The water’s black, the fish are dead,
The flowers smell like moldy Wonder Bread,
They stopped the Summer Jazz Series,
‘Cause the audience caught a blood disease!
There’s just a goose where we used to have a lark
So bring your nephews and your nieces,
To see a giant pile of feces
It’ll only take a minute, for them to step right in it
So bring your whole church youth group, to thtudy the gooth poop
At Goose… Poop…
Preservation Worcester’s saved one patch of grass;
It’s the only place you can sit on your lawn chair
At the new…pee-yew… Goose Poop Park…honk if you love geese!
“Worcester Canal” (2012) Notes: I’m not sure how long ago the section of the Blackstone River that ran through Worcester was buried underground and integrated into Worcester’s sewer system. But publisher and civic leader Allen Fletcher had a vision of Worcester as another Venice if only we could bring back the Blackstone Canal. The powers that be balked at this idea, but it didn’t stop Allen and allies from branding that neighborhood the “Canal District” and holding an annual festival featuring an artificial water-filled enclosure (think giant backyard kiddie pool) with 2 kayaks available for the public to cruise back and forth in. This is about the power of Allen and others to really roll with their second choice, so to speak! It’s a parody of the 19th-century “Erie Canal” song, which most Americans used to know.
I got a friend, his name is Al,
Tried to sell me some Worcester Canal
He’s a real hard worker, and such a good pal
I could almost see that Worcester Canal
Been sold some bridges in my day
In Brooklyn and in Frisco Bay
So sell me every inch of the way
From Water Street to heck-if-I-know…oh…
Low bid! Keep the price way down!
Low bid! Ain’t no union-friendly town
But I’m sure to wow Al Fletcher, and impress his purty gal
If I ever take a flier on Al’s Worcester Canal
“Hey, look there, Nat, we passed a lock;
There really IS a Worcester Canal.”
“Oh, come on, Al, that’s just a mock;
Don’t tell me that’s no Worcester Canal”
It’s just been rigged for your big Canal Fest
To make the district look its best
But I see every inch of the way,
So who you tryin’ to Buffalo…oh…
Low water! Paddle up and down!
Low water! So you just might run aground!
But you’ll always know your neighbors and you’ll always know your pals
If you’ve ever tried to KAYAK on Al’s Worcester Canal!
Shave and a haircut, two bits!
“Vote for Maritza Cruz (2007) Notes”: She ran for City Council, backed by this snappy song. Stood out in traffic madness of Kelley Square, sang my heart out, & wailed calypso on uke. She still lost. Here’s to Maritza.
CHORUS: Everybody vote for Maritza Cruz
She’s the woman who cannot lose
So if you’re tired of singing the blues,
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz!
Maritza Cruz is very smart
She takes the people’s problems to heart
She is the candidate you should choose
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz
Maritza Cruz is very sweet
She cares about the people on the street
So if your children do not have shoes
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz (CHORUS)
Maritza Cruz is socially effective
She don’t indulge in no nasty invective
She’s a lady who likes to shmooze
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz
Maritza Cruz is democratic
Her social conscience is automatic
She has enlightened political views
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz (CHORUS)
Maritza Cruz is plenty tough
She’ll fight for you even if she gets guff
She’s not afraid of getting a bruise
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz
Maritza Cruz is a businessperson
She won’t let Worcester’s economy worsen
If you’re sick of bad financial news
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz (CHORUS)
Maritza Cruz is on the ball
That’s why we need her at City Hall
In the council chamber she will not snooze
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz
She worked at Centro and the “Y”
She ran a store with some other guy
She has thoroughly paid her dues
Get out and vote for Maritza Cruz (CHORUS)
Maritza Cruz has no hot air
She won’t give a speech that will bleach your hair
She won’t stand up just to pompously muse
Man, you gotta vote for Maritza Cruz!
Maritza Cruz has a sincere style
You’ll never get any phony smile
You’ll never get any oily ooze
What you’re gonna get is Maritza Cruz! (CHORUS)
I’m talking about
Maritza, Maritza, Maritza, Maritza,
Maritza, Maritza, Maritza, Maritza,
Maritza, Maritza, Maritza, Maritza,
Vote for Maritza Cruz – Oy Vay!
“Mary Keefe Campaign Song”(2009) Notes: This was for a City Council race that Mary lost, but she came back in 2012 to win a seat in the State Legislature. This is modeled on traditional African-American playground songs.
Gotta talk about… MARY KEEFE (4x with ad lib variations)
If you’re lookin’ for an activist-in-chief
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
If Worcester politics gives you grief
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
Mary Keefe is Number One
She gonna get Worcester’s business done
If you want someone who inspires belief
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
Gotta talk about… MARY KEEFE (4x with ad lib variations)
If you feel like a peasant livin’ on a fief
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
If you sick of getting’ kicked right in da teef
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
Mary Keefe is Number One
She gonna get Worcester’s business done
If you’re ready for some real relief
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
Gotta talk about… MARY KEEFE (4x with ad lib variations)
If the City Council has struck a reef
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
If you like your speeches clear and brief
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
Mary Keefe is Number One
She gonna get Worcester’s business done
If you wanna turn over a brand new leaf
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
Gotta talk about… MARY KEEFE (4x with ad lib variations)
Who you gonna vote for? MARY KEEFE!
Kevin Ksen Polka (2008) Notes: Kevin is a political and community activist; he ran Mary Keefe’s successful 2012 campaign, and that of another woman, Sarai Rivera, who won a City Council seat. This was a roasting song for his birthday; it’s my only “R-rated” song in the collection.
Oh, lots of folks love soccer, they play it every day
But Kevin loves his soccer so, it carries him away
He butts his head, he kicks his legs, and if by chance he falls
The women rush the field so they can play with Kevin’s equipment
CHORUS: Oh…Kevin Ksen, he’s the sexiest of men
Kevin Ksen, he’s the sexiest of men
Kevin Ksen, he’s the sexiest of men
And if you don’t believe him, he will tell you once again
And if you don’t believe him, he will tell you once again
Oh, lots of folks love stilts, they climb up on ‘em every day
But Kevin loves his stilts so much, they carry him away
Some fellas like to kiss a woman standing face to face
But when Kevin’s on his stilts his woman’s lips are right in place
(CHORUS)
Oh, lots of folks love squirrels, they chase ‘em every day
But Kevin loves those squirrels so, they carry him away
He sees a little squirrel and he grabs it by the tushy
He goes straight for the tushy ‘cause it’s beautiful and bushy
(CHORUS)
Oh, lots of folks love photos, they shoot ‘em every day
But Kevin loves his photos so, they carry him away
He posts them in the ladies’ room, and sells them in the mens’
But he won’t show them to the cops ‘cause they are not his friends
(CHORUS)
Oh, lots of folks love pickles, they eat ‘em every day
But Kevin loves his pickle so, it carries him away
Now boys may have their preferences and point them out with zest
But any girl will tell you Kevin’s pickle is the best
(CHORUS)
Oh, lots of folks love polkas, they dance ‘em every day
But Kevin loves to polka so, it carries him away
A girl may try to dance with a guy to make him all her own
But if she won’t let Kevin polka, he’ll leave her the hell alone! (chorus)
(CHORUS)
Oh, lots of folks love women, from Cher to Mrs. Claus
But Kevin loves the women so, he wants them making laws
They get him to run their campaigns so they’ll be sure to win
‘Cause everybody knows how Kevin packs the women in!
(CHORUS, repeat last line)
“Linda Dagnello” (2005) Notes: The woman whom many call Worcester “Queen of Jazz” and I have been friends since the early 1980′s. This is pure tribute.
CHORUS: I really dig, Linda Dagnello
Linda can sing, so fine and mellow
And when she sings, I shake like Jello
She makes me feel, like a lucky fellow
So I say Hello, Linda Dagnello
For you I’d die or even fire Matt Amorello
He thinks he’s got a Big Dig
But his dig is not as big, as the way I dig Linda Dagnello (CHORUS)
For her vocal technique I’d even sneak through some sleazy bordello
I would disguise my entire rig, I mean I’d even wear a powdered pink wig
If I could dig, Linda Dagnello (CHORUS)
For her contralto, I would howl to the moon so yellow
Her vibrato can zag and zig, and it’s sweeter than a sweet ripe fig
That’s why I dig, Linda Dagnello (CHORUS)
I’d rather hang in her bar than hear Yo Yo Ma playin’ his cello
When she shows up for her gig, well I could dance a Greek Zorba jig
That’s how much I dig, Linda Dagnello (CHORUS)
She broke my habit of watching Abbott and Costello
I thought those two guys were a hoot
But now I only root, for that human flute
That melodically astute,
That, amazingly blazingly cute,
Ain’t it the troot, Linda Dagnello!
“Vote for Hilda Ramirez”(2011) Notes: Hilda ran for School Committee, and even though I sang passionately, she did not win. To her credit, she has never blamed the song.
Vote, vote, vote, vote for Hilda
She’s a real community builder
If you know Hilda, you know she will de-vote herself to our City
Vote, vote, vote, vote for Hilda
Let no other names on the ballot bewilder,
Hilda’s the perfect person to fill da
Seat on the School Committee
Hilda Ramirez respects all our youth
Hilda Ramirez reflects on the truth
So on Voting Day when you go next in that booth
Fill in the box, for the lady who rocks
Vote, vote, vote, vote for Hilda
Two years from now you’ll know that she’s still da
One for the job, so make sure you fill da
Box that you won’t want to ee-rase
When you vote for Hilda Ramirez!
“Princeton Police” (2006) Notes: This is a true story, so true that I have not, as of 7 years later, received another traffic citation of any kind. I would bet that urban motorists around the USA will find local parallels here.
CHORUS: Pulled over, pulled over by the Princeton Police
To protect the town of Princeton their proud efforts never cease
Now I tap my accelerator, and my brakes I won’t release
Ever since I got pulled over by the Princeton Police
I was mindin’ my own business, wasn’t doin’ no one harm
I was windin’ my way home from playin’ piano at Harrington Farm
When I saw those blinkin’ numbers, I immediately slowed
But I’d already sprung that speed trap on Gregory Hill Road
(CHORUS)
Well, I asked that policeman what I done to deserve his remonstrance
I mean, ain’t it the point of a blinkin’ sign to give a man a chance
I’d hit my brakes to force my speed to match that legal code
But it’s 20 measly miles an hour on Gregory Hill Road
(CHORUS)
Now we city folk from Worcester, find this mighty hard to bear
Who goes 20 miles an hour in the middle of nowhere?
But the fine folk out in Princeton take road safety seriously
I learned this from my ticket, which read two hundred eighty
(CHORUS)
I appealed my insurance surcharge, and the magistrate heard my case
He said “one hundred dollars from your fine I shall erase”
But that surcharge made me change my ways, now on speed I’m not so keen
‘Cause I pay more for insurance than I do for gasoline
(CHORUS)
Now policemen over in Sterling, they might warn you with a smile
Policemen out in Rutland may not monitor every mile
But when I drive through Princeton, my heart is filled with peace
Watchin’ other cars pulled over by the Princeton Police!
(CHORUS, repeat last line)
“Sheep to Shawl, Llama to Pajama” (2004, revised 2010, 2011) Notes: The petting zoo at Green Hill Park simply is not sufficiently known around town, given what a great place it is for all ages. The annual event, last held in October 2012, has served to bring people with and without various disabilities together and also to promote “Green Hill Farm.” The song describes the event, but find videos with slides on YouTube!
CHORUS: Sheep to Shawl, Llama to Pajama (3x)
Goat to Coat, Yak to Anorak!
Animals give us clothes
From our head to our toes
When rain rains, or wind blows
We like to wear…ANIMAL HAIR! (Chorus)
We can make clothes from animals and do them no harm
Like the llama and the sheep here at Green Hill Farm
We hold this special event so we can share
How people make clothes from…ANIMAL HAIR! (Chorus)
We hold this event in Worcester every year
The City brings the barber & the woolly sheep to shear
Nat Needle finds the artists who have a funky flair
For making clothes out of ….ANIMAL HAIR! (Chorus)
Hanging out with the animals is bound to enrich ya
Pet ‘em, feed ‘em, draw yourself an animal picture
Watch us give a sheep a haircut, she won’t mind if you stare
‘Cause her wool’s another name for…ANIMAL HAIR! (Chorus)
Play games, sing songs like you wouldn’t believe
Then card, spin, dye, felt, knit, hook, and weave
These are the steps that can take you to where
You can make your clothes from…ANIMAL HAIR! (Chorus)
Check the labels in your clothing and you’ll unner-stan’ it,
Your clothing comes from all over the planet
Plants and synthetics are also what you wear
But today we’re gonna play with…ANIMAL HAIR! (Chorus)
Hey, “What’s an anorak?” I hear you ask, uh,
It’s a warm hoodie pullover comes from Alaska
Now they make it out of plastic ‘cause people don’t care
But I made mine out of…ANIMAL HAIR! (Chorus)

[That's all, folks!]

I see...I see...The LYRICS!

I see...I see...The LYRICS!